![]() Unfortunately, the story takes a sharp right turn at the end, veering into violent action that makes "Kindergarten Cop" unsafe for kindergarten children. In one of the funniest scenes, she masquerades as Kimble's sister, Ursula, complete with her own version of the Schwarzenegger accent. The plot is filled with coincidences dreamed up in movieland. Reed's major function is to promote the romance between Kimble and a pretty young teacher (Penelope Ann Miller), whose son happens to be in his class. In "Twins," he seemed to be trying hard to be sweet and funny here it seems to come naturally. Schwarzenegger instead makes Kimble endearingly vulnerable. Given every chance to mug and go for broad comedy, Mr. "You're not disciplined!" They march in formation chanting, "Too much homework makes me sick." Kimble, of course, turns out to be a wonderful, gentle teacher. ![]() No one says, "Daddy is a drug dealer," but Kimble narrows the possibilities to a few little boys with fishy stories, and goes on to better games, like "Police School." He puts the children through drills that make them look like miniature marines. He narrows down the list of suspects by playing a game called: "Who is your daddy? What does he do?" The children stand up and say things that are meant to be cute but are usually groaners the boy obsessed with anatomy is the son of a gynecologist. He survives the experience, but just barely, by distracting the class with his pet ferret, who becomes their mascot. That is just part of the draggy plot exposition that leads to his traumatic first day at school. Never mind how Kimble gets to play teacher, the job intended for his partner (Pamela Reed). The police know that the child is in the Astoria Elementary School kindergarten class, and Kimble's job is to identify the family before Crisp does. And he is after his former wife and son, who have changed their names and fled to the small town of Astoria, Ore. ![]() Handcuffing a witness to the dead body Crisp has just gunned down, Kimble says, "Don't go anywhere."Ĭrisp, a man so arrogant and chichi he must be a bad guy, has a gun-toting mama, played by Carroll Baker. At the start, Kimble chases a ponytailed drug dealer named Crisp through a mall. He is a thick-skinned, soft-hearted guy named John Kimble, with an excuse for carrying a gun, a fish-out-of-water situation and a stockpile of wise asides. Schwarzenegger is so appealing, relaxed and genial in this role that his fans are not likely to ask for more and even his detractors are likely to be happily surprised.Īll the Arnold tricks are in place here. The film relies on obvious jokes, like the little boy who announces to the class the anatomical differences between men and women those jokes are repeated like nervous tics. Like "Twins," which was also directed by Ivan Reitman, nothing in "Kindergarten Cop" is as funny as the idea of it. That is not quite enough to save the movie from its lame, predictable script, even though the concept sounds foolproof: send a tough, hulking policeman undercover as a kindergarten teacher, where he will be at the mercy of screaming whirlwinds tiny enough to snap at his kneecaps. In "Kindergarten Cop," he plays off the Schwarzenegger image more gleefully and successfully than ever before. As the dense brother who towered over his twin, Danny DeVito, in the hit "Twins," and as the mind-altered hero who tossed off tongue-in-cheek remarks in last summer's blockbuster "Total Recall," he turned his he-man persona to shrewd comic advantage. ![]() There are still a few skeptics who laugh at Arnold Schwarzenegger's overwrought muscles, Austrian accent and commitment to the monotone school of acting, but no one laughs at Arnold Schwarzenegger better than Arnold Schwarzenegger himself.
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